it’s interesting because even though I feel really freaked out right now, I don’t feel the usual physical symptoms of a panic/anxiety attack that I used to get. the most obvious is my heart is not pounding. I can’t feel it at all. my breathing isn’t exactly right though, I’ve been holding my breath once in a while. but it’s not as shallow or rapid as it used to get.
I do feel extremely embarrassed right now. like I want to bury myself in a hole and never communicate with anyone ever again. I keep putting my hands over my eyes, as if when I can’t see anything, nobody can see me.
despite all this, I keep creating posts. like, I don’t want to be seen by anyone but I keep communicating with you all. what am I doing?